Feelin so weird lately -
I do feel happiness and its so nice. Doing what I love at the moment is amazing and I love my students I’m working with, they teach me new things every day and im so confident about my future and what I want to do at the moment.
But at the end of every busy and unpredictable day all these feelings rush back, the ones I work so hard to keep out you know?
My jealousy issues are a curse, the past sneaks up every fucking day and I dont trust anyone - I feel like everyone secretly is against me deep down to be honest so I shut them out.
I dont know how to deal properly with moving on when someone hurts me.
Which is exactly what I KNOW wrecks me in the end.
So I need to be me again,
Need to be stronger.
And I will.
I can’t spend nights on my own. I don’t trust myself anymore